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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

My Purse (And How It Relates To The World)

My purse really did bite my best friend. Megan (only I call her Meggie Mango), was searching for a pen. All of a sudden she gave this short little shriek and yanked her hand out. The were two little bite marks on her hand.
My purse has recently died. Sort of. A strap broke, anyway. I usually have about fifty pens and pencils and Sharpies and Expos and the like (the like referring to the spoon in my unused cellphone pocket and the bulldozer in Extended Compartment 34) in there, which is probably why it broke. My mom always tells me that my purse is ridiculously heavy. I am not willing to give up on it, so as a temporary remedy I have taken a hairpin and pinned on the strap and emptied about half of the junk out of my purse until the time arrives when reparation services are available.
The relating to the world part: I fear that, much like my purse, I am becoming rather... ah, negative, to say the least. I don't want to bite people, as people are disgusting. but I'm really starting to hate people. They're nasty. They're collectively and generally stupid (this being part of Paige's Theory of Inherent Stupidity, stated as such: "All people are inherently stupid." The contents of this theory include the collective stupidity of groups-- the larger the stupider--, how it applies to the individual, and how people merit a personal exception. I suggested that she right a book titled, "Fighting the Stupidity Within". She enjoyed the idea.).

I conclude.

Friday, February 5, 2010


I am a cat person. I have both a cat and a dog, a Siamese Mix named Charli and a Jack Russel Terrier named Nitro/Turnip Head, more commonly known as The Dog. And no offense to dear Nitro, but I just like my cat better. Sure, she yells at us at four in the morning and is a raging catnip addict and gives the most evil glares, but she's just so sweet! She slept on my lap on the couch at four in the morning with me after I woke up with a horrendous spider bite on my elbow. When the dog is being a spazz bean (as all Jack Russel Terriers are, I promise) and driving everybody insane, she swats his nose and hisses at him and suddenly he is the picture of meekness. And she doesn't kill me or even try to scratch me when I get hyper and put her on my head and wear her like a hat, and she's so purry and soft all the time.
My cat is great.
It really isn't her fault she's addicted to catnip anyway, it's mine. I accidentally spilled it on the bed, and she went over to sniff it and see what it was. Then she sneezed three times, sat down right on top of it all, closed her eyes, began breathing deeply, and started to purr. Now every time she's near some she does all that and then starts rolling around and rubbing her head against it, and then she'll just lie there next to it like a rock and not respond no matter how many times you poke her nose.
I don't know if I mentioned how furry, cuddly, and good-natured she is.
As opposed to the dog, who pees on the carpet and gets in the trash can and barks all the time...

It's a good thing we love him.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

There's a song by P!nk called Stupid Girls. Maybe you've heard it, maybe not. In any case, I'm just so glad that I'm not the only one tired of all the Stupid Girls.
Don't get me wrong-- I don't stereotype any more than I can help. I reserve judging people and situations until I have as many facts as I can. But I'm human. People say things that make me angry and through this anger I develop a dislike of them. I get first impressions just like everybody else. However, I am completely willing to be proven wrong.
So I carefully analyze people. I talk to them, I observe them, I ask them questions, I watch how they react to certain situations.
And, wow, are there a lot of stupid girls! I mean, really, they dress and talk and act and write the same, for heaven's sake. I am so sick of getting those Looks-- you know the ones I'm talking about. The Ew-Weird-Girl look. The Why-Is-She-Talking-To-Me? look. The Oh-My-Gawd! look. The thing that really grates on my nerves, though, is more their lack of common sense and emotional maturity than anything else.
It's like they never get over themselves. I can handle less-than-brilliant people, but I expect some sort of maturity from people my age. (Call me optimistic.) I feel like screaming and throwing things at them when we're watching, I dunno, and Intervention or something, and we hear about how some girl was raped or sexually abused and they start laughing! They all just break out in giggles over how somebody's life was screwed up!
And oh, some of them are just so needy! The song Stupid Girls goes on about this. Like they'll die if their boyfriend breaks up with them, like they can't do anything for themselves and how they always need their boyfriends. They're all such tools for men, and some of them know it and don't care.

What happened to the dream of a girl president?
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent.

P!nk says it loud and clear. I'm tired of getting looked down on by people because I don't have or want a boyfriend (excuse me for finding high school boys immature!) or because I read so fast or whatever it is they'll come up with next. And I'm sick of it.

The disease is growing, it's epidemic
I'm scared that there ain't a cure

I won't go on about other songs that could make it any clearer; this isn't what this is about. Hopefully you get the point.